March 30, 2010

For each time you use this font, a puppy dies.

Watchmen coverThe Dark Knight Returns cover
Here we have Watchmen and The Dark Knight Returns, two of the most important comic books (or "graphic novels", if you want to get all fancy) to emerge in the past 30 years.

Together, these two books dramatically transformed the face of comics as we know them today. Some of the changes were fantastic, while others... not so much.

But as much fun as it would be to rag on the memetic dead horse that is Rob Liefeld, sadly this post isn't about the Dark Age of comic books... No, today I'm going to discuss one of the more sinister contributions these two books have wrought upon this green blue round spinning Earth... Comic Sans.

Hello! I am (supposed to be) a bunch of words rendered in Comic Sans!
Yes, believe it or not, these two books were partially responsible for the creation of Comic Sans, one of the most controversial computer typefaces ever created. (To put this into perspective, my current blogging platform carries Times, Arial, Courier, Verdana, Lucida, and even the absolutely pointless Webdings... but not Comic Sans. A wise decision, I say.)

I can imagine what you're thinking: "What's the big deal about Comic Sans? It's just a font. Isn't it kind of silly for loads of people to hate on it that much?"

Ahh, but therein lies its deceptive charm. Behind those cute, rounded little letters is a protracted history of shock, horror, and inappropriately cheery usage. See, the problem with Comic Sans is that aside from the odd home-printed children's novel or... uh... erm... hold on, let me think of something...

(*five minutes and an arbitrary quantity of fruitless searches on Google later*)

Anyway, my point is that there is virtually NO other context wherein such a font would be deemed remotely apt or useful! To demonstrate my point...

pretend you're seeing Comic Sans used in a wedding invitation. *shudder*The priest also wore clown shoes.

"But Comic Sans was never intended to be used for weddings anyway! You're comparing apples to oranges!" Oh, am I? When you really think about it, the font doesn't even work all that great in explicitly silly contexts either!

(Hey, I did say "when you really think about it")

And the two greatest comic books pictured at the top of this very post were directly responsible for this carnage! Herein lies proof:
Mr. Connare* says he pulled out the two comic books he had in his office, "The Dark Knight Returns" and "Watchmen," and got to work, inspired by the lettering and using his mouse to draw on a computer screen. Within a week, he had designed his legacy.
See? SEE?! The freakin' Wall Street Journal said so!

Now, my friends, our mission has become clear.

On the other hand... perhaps we've been going about this all wrong. Maybe Comic Sans isn't an enemy after all... maybe it should be construed as more of a creative challenge! A mental exercise to come up with a situation where Comic Sans wouldn't be so horridly inappropriate!




An entire batch of college graduates victimized! Including me!


And a Josh Groban CD is in my shot!


We must not let this evil font besmirch yet another momentous, illustrious event! DOWN WITH COMIC SANS!!!
(*grabs torch and pitchfork from nearby hatstand*)

*Vincent Connare, the guy who created Comic Sans... please don't kill him, he didn't realize what he had done.

March 25, 2010

Electioneering: Sufferin' Suffrage!

They say the May 2010 presidential elections have the possibility of becoming a major turning point in Philippine politics. That these elections are a matter of life and death, a potential game-changer. That our national growth for the next few years hangs in the balance.

Coulda fooled me. Everybody knows the best way to ascertain our nation's political climate is via the local trade in Slurpees. 7-Eleven, you never let me down with your blatant commercialized asshattery.

And then there's this little piece of marketing brilliance. Screw Pulse Asia, why subscribe to trusted surveys when I can get a glimpse of the country's picks for president just by grabbing a Coke?

March 24, 2010

Made-up Word of the Day: "Retrofool"

retrofool n. (plural retrofools):

A person so behind in the times that the lag between the lifespan of a given cultural trend and that person's comprehension of said trend would last at least a year.

Documented cases:
"Guys, the cake is a lie! This was a triumph. The cake is a lie!"
  • "Random Updates" (comments), The Accidental Lamb of God (Multiply domain)

"I really like that Up dharma Down album. :) They're launching their second this October... so you can get it in 2010, he he. ;)"
(Context: I just discovered Fragmented. This was in 2008.)

Mika + Kick-Ass = WHAAAAAA???

(via io9)

Now I mean this with all kind earnestness when I say Mika and "kick-ass" are two concepts I normally do not associate with one another.

Don't get me wrong, I highly respect Mika as a musician and an artist. (then again I also accepted Jimmy Fallon as host of Late Night and thought Watchmen was a decent-enough film), but when I hear his name what immediately springs to my mind are this:

Life in Cartoon Motion album cover

and this:

So when I first read that io9 headline I had to admit being a bit skeptical at first... that was until I discovered it didn't literally mean "kick-ass", it meant Kick-Ass. As in the comic, or rather the film adaptation of the comic. Mika was doing a song for the official soundtrack.

And what a glorious song it is.

So Mika has successfully defended his honor, and I am now more excited than ever to see this movie. And the world is now a much better place for it. Hit Girl FTW!