May 2, 2010

Iron Man 2: a haiku review (SPOILERS!!!)

(This is why I should never be trusted with composing movie reviews or poetry ever again.)

Iron Man 2, international poster
Loony Russian guy
opens film in crazy room,
watched his father croak.

Half a year's time skip,
Tony gets fans and dancers.
"Top of the world, Ma!"

Government is pissed
Tony won't share his cool tech.
"We must get that suit!"

Tony Stark and his Hall of Armor
Tony and Rhodey
show up in two action scenes.
Best bromance ever.

Supporting cast... good.
Who promoted the chauffeur
to combat status?

Hammer just can't win;
Rich, but snivelling weirdo.
Reporter ditched him!

Justin Hammer
Techie con model
sure makes for one very odd
giant Chekhov's Gun.

"No suits... me make drones!"
Whiplash minimate should have
its own cockatoo.

Badass eyepatch man,
mild deus ex machina.
Thanks for the help, Dad.

Black Widow
OM effin' G!
Cute redhead works for black dude!
Awkward to the max.

Yay! Tony is "cured"!
His chest, now triangle-shaped!
Call it... "Extremis"?

Movie's, well, okay.
You should know this already:
stay after credits.

Nick Fury, mothafuckas.

(All images courtesy of slashfilm.com)

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