September 24, 2011

Transformers are so five years ago.

Archie McPhee is perhaps better known in geek circles for being a purveyor of unique 21st century novelty items, a disproportionate number of which are themed after bacon and mustaches. But the website really won me over with its quirky selection of toys.

Action figures by Archie McPhee
Among other things, the site offers an honest-to-goodness line of action figures based on men and women from history. Move over, G.I. Joe! Now you too can play with your very own Benjamin Franklin, Marie Antoinette (complete with detachable head!), Charles Dickens, Harry Houdini, Sigmund Freud, and of course, Jesus Christ.

Box of Extraordinary Gentlemen Action Figure Collection
They even have their own "All Of The Above" package.

Archie McPhee doesn't just stop at famous historical figures, however. They also offer other toys ranging from the neat to the bizarre to the downright sad.

Captain Corndog vs. Baron Von Broccoli

Surely the war between Captain Corndog and Baron Von Broccoli is one children will be waging for ages to come!

Bag of Freaks
I'll withdraw my objections over the mildly politically-incorrect connotations of this set for now. Because honestly, where else can you possibly buy your own set of miniature carnival freaks?

Avenging Narwhal Playset

This crusader of countercute vigilante justice would go perfectly with my Grand Theft Walrus T-shirt!

Fuzz Action Figure

"The first thing you have to understand is that Fuzz is a real person. He's not some fictitious superhero dreamt up by a team of overpaid corporate drones out to make a buck off the kids. He's a guy that works at Archie McPhee. Seriously."
Awww, they made an action figure of one of their employees. That's kind of heartwarming and dubious all at once.

Glow-in-the-Dark Zombies Playset

Naturally, no self-respecting geek novelty store should come without zombie merch.

Lunch Lady Action Figure

What use can anybody possibly have for a Lunch Lady action figure? Who cares, I still want it!

Wall Street Financial Expert

That's one heck of a post-Recession diss in plastic form, if I ever saw one.

Crazy Cat Lady Action Figure

This is probably my favorite of the bunch in terms of sheer WTFery, barring the possibility of this being an eerie premonition of my own golden years. But hey, free cats!

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